Graeme McRae -- my home page

• About Graeme
  • Graeme McRae Biography
    • 774 3LO Radio
    • Albany Street and Rt 18, New Brunswick, New Jersey
    • Graeme McRae: 2004 Santa Clarita Marathon
    • Graeme McRae: Odds and Ends
  • People
    • Ben
• Experiences
  • Biz Dealings
    • Get a haircut, Barber shop, Quartz Hill, California
    • Fresh Bagged Spinach
    • Car Mechanic in Panorama City
    • Knott's Berry Farm, August, 1999
    • Lamppost Pizza in Tehachapi
    • Southern California Edison Water
    • My experience with the U. S. Postal Service
      • Express Mail Tracking & Delivery Confirmation
    • DMV Convenience Fee
  • Dr. Blue
    • BlueSadWithNoPuppyYetGraeme.jpg
    • BlueSadWithNoPuppyYetCaitlin.jpg
    • BlueSadAtDennysWithNoPuppyYet.jpg
    • BlueRainyDrive32DegreesToSanDiego.jpg
    • BlueOld395Bridge.jpg
    • BlueFamilyWithPuppy.jpg
    • BlueMeghanGraemeBlue.jpg
    • BlueGetsComfortableInCar.jpg
    • BlueItSnowedInTheMountains.jpg
    • BlueDrivingHomeOnI115.jpg
    • BlueSnowInTheMountains.jpg
    • BlueSnowInTheMountains2.jpg
    • BlueSnowInTheMountains3.jpg
    • BlueMatthewAndBlue.jpg
  • Online experiences
    • My experience editing Wikipedia - XYZ Affair
  • Phishing
    • 001-Sabrina Gold-15-5-Foreign Agent-Bankruptcy-UK
    • 002-Frank Dickens-0.5-0.5-Winner-Lottery-Netherlands
    • 003-Richard Salter-0.35-0.35-Beneficiary-Grant-Scotland
    • 004-Gianni Mattioli-2.5-2.5-Recipient-Grant Donation-Italy
    • 005-Christopher Marshall-12.5-6.25-Pose as owner-Embezzlement Death-UK
    • 006-Graham Betts-2.5-2.5-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 007-Tony Monrow-xx-0.8-Partner-Funds Transfer-Paraguay
    • 008-Ahmed Abba-20-5-Foreign Agent-Embezzlement-Nigeria
    • 009-Paul Blake-xx-xx-Partner Assistant-Undisclosed-UK
    • 010-Adams Smith-1.2-1.2-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 011-Brian Spencer-12.5-2.5-Pose as Next of Kin-Plane Crash Death-UK
    • 012-Katharine S. Sorrells-0.5-0.5-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 013-Ben Spencer-20-0.5-Winner-Yahoo Lottery-UK
    • 014-Cherry Rings-15-6-Charity agent-Death bed donation-Europe
    • 015-Daniel Wallace-30-2-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 016-Pinkett Griffin-1-1-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 017-Marcus Morrison-0.9-0.9-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 018-Charles M. Beckman-0.25-0.25-Prize Winner-Product Promotion-UK
    • 019-Betty Rice-0.5-0.5-Prize Winner-Product Promotion-Netherlands
    • 020-Dan Griffith-1-1-Prize Winner-Ebay Product Promotion-UK
    • 021-Tina Wallace-0.45-0.45-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 022-James W. Brian-23-4.6-Foreign Agent-Criminal Proceeds-Iraq
    • 023-Lady Ann Green-20-20-Heir-Cancerous Ailment-UK
    • 024-Silifat Al Fayadh-xx-xx-Foreign Agent-Undisclosed-Hong Kong
    • 025-George Owen-30-0.8-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 026-John Lugard-2.5-2.5-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 027-Phil Smith-1.5-1.5-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 028-William Stevenson-xx-xx-Charity Agent-Death Bed Donation-United Arab Emirates
    • 029-Patricia Hewitt-17.5-5.25-Charity Agent-Undisclosed-UK
    • 030-Brown Van Der Mark-1.5-1.5-Cash Aid Award Winner-Charity Foundation-Netherlands
    • 031-Richard Gozney-xx-xx-Scam Victim-Government Recompensation-Nigeria
    • 032-Kalim Durak-xx-xx-Charity Agent-Undisclosed-Saudi Arabia
    • 033-Paul Wilson-0.3-0.3-Prize Winner-Peugeot Product Promotion-UK
    • 034-Debbi King-0.9-0.9-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 035-Mike John-0.5-0.5-Recipient-Grant Donation-Italy
    • 036-Mark Morris-4.6-4.6-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 037-Catherine Jones-45-45-Next of kin-Benefactor death-Portugal
    • 038-Fred Holifield-0.7-0.7-Winner-Yahoo Lottery-UK
    • 039-Femi Coker-xx-xx-Foreign Agent-Undisclosed-UK
    • 040-Mike Spencer-1-1--Prize Winner-BMW Product Promotion-UK
    • 041-Robert Nelson-xx-xx-Recipient-Funds Transfer-UK
    • 042-Kevin Mama-12-1.8-Foreign Agent-Diamond and gold mining-Sierra Leone
    • 043-Brenda Moeller-2.8-0.9-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 044-Charles Harbert McKay-500-300-Foreign Agent-Embezzlement-UK
    • 045-Andrew Charles Bignell-23-23-Partner-Undisclosed-UK
    • 046-Abraham Abbasi-xx-xx-Recipient-Unclaimed Drafted Cheque-Spain
    • 047-David Matoya-10-1-Winner-Lottery-Netherlands
    • 048-Gary Armstrong-1-1-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 049-Robert Scheel-0.8-0.8-Beneficiary-Contract Inheritance-Spain
    • 050-David Williams-30-1-Prize Winner-Texaco Product Promotion-UK
    • 051-Bob John-1.2-1.2-Unsuccessful Partner-Compensation For Trying-Benin
    • 052-Garry Josef-17-17-Next of kin-9/11 Death-UK
    • 053-Williams Spencer-1.35-1.35-Winner-Irish Lottery-UK
    • 054-Emmanuel Betong-5.25-1.575-Foreign Agent-Embezzlement-Ghana
    • 055-Ed Harris-1-1-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 056-Reynold Hunter-2.5-2.5-Prize Winner-Visa Product Promotion-UK
    • 057-Peter Hans-0.5-0.5-Winner-Lottery-Netherlands
    • 058-Mike Smith-1-1-Winner-Free Lotto Promo-UK
    • 059-William Buster-0.85-0.85-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 060-Bill Woods-0.82-0.82-Winner-Lottery-Canada
    • 061-Rita Holms-17.5-17.5-Stand In Beneficiary-Impending Cancer Death-UK
    • 062-Brown Van Der Marrk-0.9-0.9-Winner-Lottery-Netherlands
    • 063-James Walker-0.65-0.65-Prize Winner-BMW Product Promotion-UK
    • 064-MacDonald Philips-55-2.5-Winner-Lottery-UK
    • 065-Song Lile-19.5-5.85-Partner-Business Proposal-Hong Kong
    • 066-David Ben-10-10-Winner-Microsoft Mega Jackpot Lottery-UK
    • 067-Scotty Moore-0.5-0.5-Prize Winner-Yahoo and MSN Microsoft Windows Promotion-UK
    • 068-Daniel Grams-1.5-1.5-Winner-Lottery-UK
• Language
  • Structure
    • Constructions
      • Double Entendre
      • Homo... That is, homonyms, homophones, and homographs
      • Contradictions
        • Oxymoron
      • Tropes - Words for ways to put words together, a.k.a. Figures of Speech, Literary Devices, Rhetoric
      • Wordy -- big words, too many words, catchy phrases
    • Language - Grammar
    • Spelling and Pronunciation
      • Euro Spelling - a joke poking fun at the idea of reforming English spelling
      • Ghoti -- a way to spell "fish"
      • Common Mispronunciations -- Nucular, Hunnerd, Ax, Ekcetra.
      • Punctuation -- funny examples
    • Words: a discussion of interesting words or usages
      • Neologisms - made-up words.
      • Wrong Word - A rundown of word misusage
      • Backformations - removal of prefixes or suffixes to form new words
      • Soz -- idiotic Internet slang for "sorry"
    • Translation and Dialects
      • Australian dialect
      • Translation with SYSTRAN
        • 1. English −> French
        • 2. French −> English
        • 3. Eng −> French −> Eng
  • Movies
    • Twisted Characters
      • Fight Club
        • Fight Club DVD Warning
    • Funny Movies
      • Airplane, the movie
        • Airplane movie script
      • Zoolander
  • Numbers, including the "Brazilian" joke
    • Millions and Billions and Zillions -- how high can you count?
  • Poetry
    • Error Message Poetry
      • Abort, Retry, Ignore
      • Error Haikus
    • My POSSLQ, a poem by Charles Osgood
    • Elephant and Blind Men
    • Lyrics
      • Wise Country Words
        • "If My Nose Was Running Money" By Aaron Wilburn
        • Alabama Song -- Allison Moorer
        • Please Don't Bury Me -- John Prine
      • Hit Me (with your rhythm stick), by Ian Dury and the Blockheads
      • I Hold Your Hand -- by Tom Lehrer
        • I Hold Your Hand in Mine (midi)
    • Capturing a mood with poetry
    • Short Poems - poems that end abruptly (joke poems)
  • Rants - excited, bombastic, verbose grandiosity disproportionate to thought.
    • The Ant and the Grasshopper, a fable, updated to show how socialism interferes with the simple moral tale.
      • Ant and Grasshopper -- rebuttal from the the left
      • Ant and Grasshopper -- rebuttal^2, criticizing both viewpoints as completely idiotic
    • Rant about Fakes, page 1, Ryan and Jacob's scavenger hunt via email and website
      • Rant about Fakes, page 2, Ryan and Jacob's scavenger hunt via email and website
      • An Earlier Rant, page 3, Ryan and Jacob's scavenger hunt via email and website
      • Clues, page 4, Ryan and Jacob's scavenger hunt via email and website
      • Questionnaire, page 5, Ryan and Jacob's scavenger hunt via email and website
      • Manifesto, page 6, Ryan and Jacob's scavenger hunt via email and website
    • Gun Control
      • Winning the Cultural War - Charlton Heston 2/16/1999
      • Graeme's comments about Charlton Heston's speech
      • The Argument Against Gun Control
    • Netiquette
      • BCC — Blind Carbon Copy, and its moral implications
      • 8 commandments of Netiquette
      • Lightbulb Jokes for Newsgroup Readers
    • Starr Report, Graeme's comments
      • Starr Report Cover
      • Starr Report Table of Contents
      • Starr Report Chronology
      • Starr Report Names
      • Starr Report Introduction
      • Starr Report Narrative
      • Starr Report Grounds
      • Starr Report Endpage
      • Starr Report altoids-blow-job-email.txt
  • Short Stories
    • Dark and Stormy Night - the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
    • Mom's Dying Words
  • TV Shows
    • TV Commercials
      • TV Commercial -- Free Credit Report.com pirate
    • Chuck Lorre Productions
      • Chuck Lorre - Censored vanity cards
      • Chuck Lorre vanity cards: Schwarznegger
      • Chuck Lorre vanity card #230: advice for Levi Johnston
      • Chuck Lorre vanity card #226: Parents Television Council
      • Chuck Lorre vanity card #221: Truth by repetition
      • Chuck Lorre vanity card #217: near-dirty words
      • Chuck Lorre vanity card #179: retrograde ejaculation
      • Chuck Lorre vanity card #155: improving FCC criteria
    • Gilligan's Island - The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle, and Amish Paradise
  • Words and Wisdom
    • Assumptions and hidden comparisons
    • Cow Philosophy -- World ideologies explained by reference to cows
    • Modern Words - neologisms for modern times
    • Brutal Fairy Tales
    • Long Sentence
    • Quotes: Donald Rumsfeld, G.W.Bushisms, More Bushisms, Recent quotes, Doublespeak: Carly Fiorina, Yogi Berraisms, Famous Last Words, Great Thinkers, and Kids Language
      • The famous Donald Rumsfeld quote: As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know...
      • George W. Bushisms -- silly things alledgedly said by the president
      • More Bushisms -- dopey things allegedly said by George W. Bush
      • Recent quotes - gaffes made by famous people
      • Doublespeak: Carly Fiorina, April, 2002
      • Yogi Berraisms
      • Famous Last Words
      • Great Thinkers
      • Kids Language -- Anguished English
    • Sayings
      • Ordinary Sayings
      • SPAM Sayings
      • Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny
  • Ever Wonder?
    • Still Wondering?
    • These facts will make you say Hmmm...
    • Four All Who Reed and Right
    • Health FAQs (joke)
    • Hospital Chart Writings by Doctors - funny things written by doctors on medical charts
    • My Browser keeps closing on its own
    • My Mouse Doesn't Work
    • New Words - new joke definitions for existing words
    • Similes - cool as a cucumber, etc.
    • Virus Troubles
    • Assassins -- e.g. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald
• Funny and Interesting things
  • Puns and Jokes
    • Jokes
    • "Old" jokes: She's so old that...
    • Google Pwefewences - Elmer Fudd wanguage (joke)
    • Funny Advertisements
    • Arabic TV (insensitive ethnic joke)
    • Bad Words - children learn to cuss
    • Funny Hair Salon Names
    • Funny Nail Salon Names
    • Other Punny Names
    • Common Sense jokes
    • Dear Abby Test (joke)
    • Headlines (jokes, double-entendres)
    • Funny responses from Hollywood Squares
    • Kennedy and Lincoln - a tongue-in cheek rundown of the coincidences in their lives and deaths
    • A Guide to American Newspapers -- a humorous explanation of what type of person reads each newspaper
    • Official Warnings (humorous)
    • Phony Phone Calls, Prank calls -- I See OJ call, as heard on the Howard Stern show
      • I See OJ (mp3)
    • President Wins Lottery - Joke response to a spammer
    • No Pun Intended
    • More Puns
    • Finding Bin Laden (joke)
    • Phoenix Suns Guard Steve Nash
    • Weathermen have funny names
    • Cheerleaders -- joke pictures of various cheerleaders
  • Interesting Websites
    • Personal Home Pages
    • Social Networking / Messaging
    • Cartoons
    • Opinion / Rant / Political -- funny or interesting websites with axes to grind
    • Games / Interactive Play -- fun websites
    • Factoids - interesting web sites
• Games
  • Core Wars -- a computer game
• Information
• PMI
  • PMP Exam
  • Brain Dump
    • How to make a brain dump
• Odds and Ends
  • Cute Gifs
  • Academic Decathlon 2000
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000StMatthiasHighSchoolDowneyCA.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000CaitlinSitting.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000DecathletesOnTheFootballField.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000ViewFromTheField.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000AroundTableCaitlinKaceyMichaelIanNickJoshAdamCRosemarieJustinAdamM.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000KaceySticksOutHerToungue.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000Lunch.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000StMatthiasHallStandingRoomOnly.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000LetsEat.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000MeghanIsProudOfHerBigSisterNowLetsEat.jpg
    • MiscAcademicDecathlon2000CaitlinWaiting.jpg
  • Birds imitate ring tones
  • California Lottery
    • calottery.xls
  • Gas Crisis 2000
  • Holiday schedule
  • Intelligence Test
  • Liquor, Guns, and Sybase Technical Support
    • MiscLiquorGuns02-c25.jpg
  • Cities whose elevation exceeds their population
  • Optical illusions and other tricks
    • Black Dot Illusion
    • Color Name illusion
    • Elephant Legs
    • Hanging Patio - perspective illusion
      • Hanging Patio - perspective illusion
    • Poiuyt a.k.a Blivet, Devil's Fork with a Penrose Frame and Hexnuts
    • Motion
    • Parallel Lines
    • Checker shadow illusion
  • Puzzles
    • Puzzle Answers: Hut, Bounce, Rovgbiy, Pies, Stuckstake, Pi, A0B2C0D2, Hardener, Mine, UFO
    • Puzzle Answers: Letter Group Puzzles
    • Professional Quiz - page 1
      • Professional Quiz - page 2
      • Professional Quiz - page 3
      • Professional Quiz - page 4
      • Professional Quiz - page 5
    • Einstein Quiz
      • Einstein Quiz - page 1
      • Einstein Quiz - page 2
      • Einstein Quiz - page 3
      • Einstein Quiz - page 4
      • Einstein Quiz - page 5
      • Einstein Quiz - page 6
      • Einstein Quiz - page 7
      • Einstein Quiz - page 8
      • Einstein Quiz - page 9
      • Einstein Quiz - page 10
      • Einstein Quiz - page 11
      • Einstein Quiz - page 12
      • Einstein Quiz - page 13
      • Einstein Quiz - page 14
      • Einstein Quiz - page 15
    • Breaking the Rules Quiz
      • Breaking the Rules - page 1
      • Breaking the Rules - page 2
      • Breaking the Rules - page 3
      • Breaking the Rules - page 4
      • Breaking the Rules - page 5
      • Breaking the Rules - page 6
      • Breaking the Rules - page 7
      • Breaking the Rules - page 8
      • Breaking the Rules - page 9
      • Breaking the Rules - page 10
• Opinion
  • Psychology
    • The psychology of waiting
• Stuff
  • The Nature of Stuff
  • Universe, Cosmology
  • Viewpoint
    • The Puddle
    • Time's Arrow Notes
    • What is Suffering?
  • Identity
  • Probability
    • Quantum Mechanics
    • Uncertainty
    • Schrodinger's Cat
  • Society and Progress
    • Human Interaction
      • Office Politics
        • Annoying Co-Workers
• Running
  • Graeme's Running Story
  • Business Trip 2005-09-10, planning runs into the itinerary